Parenting by The Clash: the Results Show

Wowee, everyone, thanks for the responses! Some can be read below, and others were emailed and I will selfishly keep those to myself. It seems that staying has won by a nose, albeit with conditions and a good headache. Just so y'all know, the G man has not become a monster, at least not quite yet, but he did throw a mini fit the other day at King Soopers due to not wanting to ride in the cart and not wanting to be carried either, leaving me befuddled and wracking my brain trying to recall how I dealt with the girls during toddlerdom. Cora threw one fit in her whole life and I, like Tawni, simply walked away, figuring no one was going to kidnap a thrashing, wailing, kicking miniature lunatic at that particular moment in time. And if they did have the guts, I was pretty confident they'd return her speedily. That worked well enough for her; as baby Anna and I stood in line a few aisles down, Cora raised her red face, saw no one was paying attention to her - and the ones that were looked appalled - dusted off her pants and calmly walked back to my side. Anna, as far as I can remember, never threw fits at all. It simply wasn't her style; she much preferred whining you to death and walking as slow as possible, dragging her little mary janes along at the pace of a bedridden snail. There was one year while Christmas tree hunting, we all opted to leave her behind for the mountain lions as she drug her moon boots a half mile back, lamenting at the top of her voice about the weather, the lack of food, the wind, the bad trees, her mittens, her hat, religion, politics, etc. Unfortunately, the mountain lions saw that crazed look in her eyes and wanted nothing to do with her either, and now we just don't invite the little sprite with us. So, now we have the little man...and thanks be to you, I feel much more confident for the next shopping experience...I think. He is not quite yet at the age where he can be reasoned with as far as promising treats later ("later" is not a word in his vocabulary right now) and unfortunately the free cookie would send him into anaphylactic shock (which I suppose would end a fit, but eternally wasn't really what I was going for), but a few easily found treats in the purse should fit the bill nicely, and coupled with the correct timing in his day, well, I believe we at least won't have our faces put up on Soopers front door with a big red line drawn through them.

Parenting by The Clash

Anna learned how to use the sewing machine yesterday, and made, all by her lonesome, two pillowcases and one skirt (modeled in the center picture). She struggles in her academics, especially with reading still, so we took a break and did a whole afternoon of Home Ec. just me and her. It was a nice bonding time with Roosky and she is still talking about it and dreaming of fashion design...

This post is going to be interactive, folks. I want opinions about a pressing matter. Here it is:

To leave the cart behind, or stick it out?

If you're parents you already know what I'm speaking of. When a toddler has a freak out in the middle of Walmart, what do you do? There are two schools of thought here. Leave or stay. Now most books/experts/mommies will tell you that you leave the cart right there and hightail it home pronto. This tells the child that his behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated, and it has the added perk of rescuing fellow shopper's ears from ringing and their mouths from saying under their breath, 'Why won't she just take that little spawn home?' Now this is a good method, tried and true, but it comes with problems of it's own, not the least among them the fact that your cart is filled with perishables that took you the better part of an hour to pick out lovingly and who wants to just destroy all that hard work and just leave it with the strawberry ice cream melting slowly all over the chicken breasts (the ones that are on sale and won't be when you return). Some underpaid bag boy is going to have to put all that stuff away, you know. And really, when are you going to find the time and energy to come back and shop anew, much less desire to show your face there again anyway? Here's my other issue with this method: that little angel didn't want to be there in the first place (it's hardly Lego StarWars Skittles Palace that you're shopping at) and if you leave aren't you in fact, giving in to what he/she wants? Yes, of course, when you go home you aren't going to cheerfully dole out a months supplies of Chips Ahoy and give them a pony ride and that could disappoint them a bit, but all in all, most of them are just going to be glad to be out of that god foresaken market and home, even if it does mean a severe tongue lashing from Mom. And now that you're home and little Jr. is all settled down for the nap that was overdue, you have no groceries, or possibly toilet paper, and no foreseeable future date to go get those again. Dinner consists of bean casserole surprise with a M&M reduction and a hamburger helper risotto, with a lovely souffle of canned peaches sliced 5 ways with a cheerio crunch topping. So, readers mine, do you stay or do you go (now...if you go there could be trouble...if you stay it could be double...sorry, couldn't resist and now you know what those lyrics mean).

Scenario number two: Staying to fight it out. This is not for the faint of heart. Although you may be tempted to swat a backside, this is not advisable for lots of reasons we won't go into, but mostly because I don't want to turn on the evening news and see you on it. And as much as I would like to become a foster parent, receiving your kids would be awkward and uncomfortable. So, you give the monster a firm talking to usually while gripping his shoulder in a vulcan hold, and threaten terrible things in a hiss that you will never follow through on. Also not the best, we all know you have to follow through. It's also not advisable to tease your children as my husband used to that he 'drop the hammer!' That's just asking for little Susie to shout at the top of her lungs in a public place, 'No, Daddy! Don't hit us with the hammer!' Also a great way to get yourself on the evening news. If the child has superhuman strength like the Williams' children, attempting to fold their little 30 pound bodies in half so as to place them in that dratted cart, is a little like nailing jello to the wall. Pointless, insane, and impossible. It's like trying to fold a two-by-four in half. You can reason with Susie. You can bribe Susie. But reasoning with a two year old is laughable, at least at this point, and bribing brings consequences all it's own (like being forced to buy your 16 old a car just because he didn't steal Gramma's silver that week). If you can finish your shopping in peace, kudos to you, oh parenting God or Goddess, because usually mine is finished by dangling a wriggling, snot faced, toddler under my armpit, while fishing out the debit card and shouting, 'No, it's ok, don't bag that one, just toss it the cart, and I am so sorry, and he's never really like this, and -'

Incidentally, the first time I knew I was really and truly a parent was not when they laid my little bundle of joy in my arms or the first diaper I changed or the first time they said, 'mama,' it was when I called Mike in tears and sobbed over the phone,

'You know THAT mom in Walmart? Today...I WAS THAT MOM.'

Seriously, everyone of you, this is for posterity so be honest. Do you stay or do you go? And if you have no offspring, would you rather see a mom leave or struggle through? Leave a comment, an email if you can't figure out the comment thing, a phone call, a carrier pigeon, etc. I really want to know.