Health Plan Promise!

Yesterday, I went running. I had been realizing for quite some time, that I am not the svelte, thin, non-jiggly woman I once was. My body hurts all the time anyway, from too much ballet and too many births, so I figured, maybe I should be sore for a reason. You know? Like from working out.

I convinced Mike to go with me, and part of the reason was for him. He had gone twice with Cora this week and I didn't want him to ruin his streak. So, despite the fact that it was a mere 94 degrees, I strapped on my sports bra and tennies and off we went!

It was so great. I could literally FEEL the fat melting off me. I totally found my rhythm and I could sense that I was getting stronger. Runners say you just have to hit your stride and there I was! The way there was pretty tough, but by the time we turned around, I was really pounding the pavement and my heart was singing its new health song. I could even envision the future:

Me, in nothing but a sports top and short shorts. I'd be tan and toned and even the eighteen year olds would look at me with envy! Mike would be fit and buff, and we'd be the motivation of middle aged frumps everywhere! We'd be ADDICTED to this running stuff, like all those other ADDICTED runners we know!












HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!


No, really. It sucked. I never want to do it again. My shins were splintering into a thousand pieces, my face was egg plant colored, I had sweat running down the twins, my toes felt like they'd been hit repeatedly with a hammer, and I had an instant migraine the likes of which I'd never had since New Years Eve 1999 when I was pregnant with Cora and thought I was going to die from the disco lights in my head.

Those feelings cannot possibly be good for my health and I quit.

If you ever see me running again, it is because someone is chasing me with a bloody cleaver and you should intervene.

I remain,

your chubby friend,

me.

Oregon

Multnomah Falls. Mike assures me that this photo is a bit of an illusion. My sweet punkin is NOT actually about to topple off to his death. There is supposedly a long ledge behind him. I was in the gift shop recovering from a long hike with some retail therapy so I am not responsible for this lovely, if terrifying, shot.




Right after this hike I decided to take up jogging.

We took a gorgeous hike in the Rogue Valley as well. Mama was huffin and puffin and vowing to take up jogging immediately if not sooner by the time we reached the top. Darn kids practically ran the entire way, and 21 year old Aunt Sarah was also making me look bad. But it was so worth it and I would love to have a spot like that near me. Right after I take up jogging.

We were so close to the coast that it seemed silly to not go. Unemployed we may be. But we have Holiday Inn points to spend, and Mo's World Famous Chowder House was calling our names. So...we took a weekend vacation.

It's the responsible thing to do.

Uhhh, yeah, there is no illusion in this one. They ARE rather close to toppling off the cliff which pretty much gave Sarah a coronary. Which made them want to get even closer to the edge. Which made her want to throw up. Which made them scoot closer. Which made her smack em and chase them back down the mountain. While I lugged my booty ever farther behind and promised myself to take up jogging.

Anna running from the icy waves.

My baby girl.

After a day of vacationing, there's only one thing to do: pass out on the hotel bed.

Yaquina Head lighthouse. 114 steps to the top.

I am taking up jogging.

A bat ray at the aquarium. A good place for Mike to sing the entire four trillion verses of the B52s Rock Lobster as we wandered through.

Muggin' for the camera.

There are also fish under the glass on the floor. So of course the proper way to view them is to throw yourself prostrate on it and graciously allow everyone else to walk over the top of you.

If anyone knows a surefire way to get a shot of three kids with smiles and open eyes and no bunny ears or sticking out tongues or fingers up their noses ALL AT THE SAME INSTANT, I am open for suggestions.

What is it with me and shots from the back? I just find them ever so artsy.

Yes, of course we all sang "Yellow Submarine."

He's special.

I was going to include a couple shots of my brothers, who I also got to spend some time with, but once again, I can not get a single shot with out bunny ears, crossed eyes, and nose picking, and they're in their 40s, not their terrible twos. Thanks, buttheads.

Back in Idaho now and if we don't have some good news, in the form of employment, soon, then I will start charging you all money to read this blog. But you wouldn't pay and then I'd get depressed and start eating too many Cheez-its and that would directly affect the stellar results I am about to see from practically, almost, thinking about taking up jogging.