My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant's bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with a penetrating stare.
Then he spoke great words of wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
"To eat these things," said my uncle,
"You must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what's solid,
but you must spit out the air!"
And as you partake of the world's bill of fare,
that's darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.
~Theodore Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss), from a commencement address
from the restaurant's bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them with a penetrating stare.
Then he spoke great words of wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
"To eat these things," said my uncle,
"You must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what's solid,
but you must spit out the air!"
And as you partake of the world's bill of fare,
that's darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.
~Theodore Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss), from a commencement address
One of the most
popular reasons homeschooling parents choose to keep their children home –
especially in this day and age – is to avoid the bullying and the peer pressure
that inevitably comes with public schools.
We don’t want our children to experience that kind of abuse, especially
on a daily basis. Maybe some of us
remember it ourselves and we shudder to think of our small sons and daughters
being put through that type of pain and torment.
But there is
another kind of bullying and peer pressure that is peculiar to
homeschooling. And I’m not talking about
the kids.
It’s us. The moms.
The dads.
We have a tendency,
don’t we, to bask in the glow that is our self righteousness that comes
unbidden with our higher calling of homeschooling. We don’t just look down our noses at our
public schooling peers; we bully one another in various ways with our methods,
our curricula, our doctrine, our schedule, our appearances, our marriages, our
homes.
Have you ever felt
bullied by a fellow homeschooling mommy?
Have you ever bullied – however unintentionally – another homeschooling
mommy?
I can’t speak for
every homeschooling parent, but sometimes I can feel like the child spoken of
in Ephesians 4:14: I am tossed about
here and there by every curricula wave and carried about by every wind of
doctrinal homeschooling. This week it’s
Classical Education because that’s what all the “real” Christian homeschoolers
do. Next week it’s Unschooling because I
met the neatest family at the park who do it that way. Next month it’ll be a packaged curriculum
everyone at Homeschool Group is raving about and if that doesn’t float my boat,
then I’ll enroll them in the Homeschool Co-op (because all the cool kids go
there). Do we do this because we genuinely
desire the best for our children and our families, or are we desperately
seeking the approval of our own peers?
Homeschooling moms
can be –dare I say it – competitive. Cut throat at times. To the death.
We can be even worse than those feminist career woman we all shake our
heads at when it comes to a strange sort of “I am Woman, hear me roar and watch
me have it all” mentality.
We want the
homemade bread. We want the perfect
school room. We want to be just like that other homeschool mom over
there. You know, the one who has it
all together and whose kid’s don’t have yesterday’s jam still smeared in their
hair?
And we will throw
one another under the bus to get there.
I think part of the
curse of Eve was a propensity to gossip.
Can I prove this scripturally?
No, but I feel it in my bones.
Girls pop out of their mother’s wombs ready to chit-chat and there’s
nothing more we love to chit-chat about then hearsay and rumors. Sometimes we disguise this under Prayer
Requests. You know the ones:
Oh, before we hang up, Marg, remember to pray
for Tammy. Oh, you didn’t hear? She’s just having the most difficult time
homeschooling. She just can’t stay
organized. I recommended that planner
but I don’t know…Little June isn’t even reading yet. Maybe she’s just not cut out for
homeschooling.
Hi, there!
I just got done talking to Ruth; don’t forget to pray for her and her
husband. They’re really having
trouble. I told them to join that
marriage class at church but you know them.
They never listen to advice.
So nice to see you! Before you go, will you pray for Beth? Yes, her kids are just running amuck these
days and it’s like she doesn’t even see it.
I think she must be overwhelmed or something. Maybe depressed.
I know I have to
watch myself when it comes to prayer circles.
It’s so easy to twist my words and start mentioning things that I have
no business speaking of, all in the guise of sanctified gossip, and all with
the secret longing to make myself look smarter, holier, more confident…all to
make the In-Crowd of Mommies like me more.
It’s no better on the bus or on the playground than it is in my living
room.
Sometimes the
bullying we are a part of is quite unintentional. We don’t mean to pass judgment, but we can’t
seem to help it. Oh, you don’t use the
Trivium? Oh, your kids aren’t starting Greek yet? Doesn’t Sally play a musical instrument?
It’s all I can do
this year – a tumultuous and trying year that seemed to last approximately
fourteen years – to just concentrate on the Four Rs. I’m not interested in Latin, I’m not signing
up for violin, I don’t care if my kids ever learn Spanish, science is gravy and
art is frosting. If they can learn their
math skills, read some great books, and print legibly than I’m having another
cup of coffee and calling it a day. Yes,
your kids impress me with their knowledge of gnats or geometry or Shakespeare
or the origin of the bean burrito, but I’m just not going to jump on that train
right now.
I can’t speak for
next year.
I heard about a new
method I want to try. All the cool
homeschooling moms are doing it…
I read this before and thought it was great! My favorite line - "If they learn their math skills, read some great books, and print legibly then I'm having another cup of coffee and calling it a day." AMEN!
ReplyDeleteAnnette,
ReplyDeleteBring your mug on over - the coffee's always hot at my house. :)
Yelling in agreement from the balcony.I'm always thinking my boys are probably not learning one fact and my oldest can't spell his way out of a box so I don't need a "perfect" homeschool mom to make me feel worse. I try to avoid them or I would be comforting myself with pie every evening.
ReplyDeleteHey Anonymous is me,Tina
ReplyDeleteI forgot my password. Just more pressure.LOL
TinaA,
ReplyDeleteYou can't be a good homeschooling mom if you forgot your password!
Wink, wink.
I really really love you.
ReplyDelete