Grandpa's Least Favorite Song

In the spirit of Halloween, I bring you the song that made my sweet Grandpa go berserk. Thus, we sang it as much as possible.

Do Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder when the hearse goes by

That you may be the next to die?

They wrap you in a big, white sheet

And then they bury you 6 feet deep.

All goes well for the first few weeks

But then the coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in

The worms crawl out

The ants play Pinochle on your snout.

They eat the jam between your toes

And that's the way the story goes!

Happy October, ghouls and boys! Teach this old song to your kiddos - they'll totally thank you.

And since my Grandpa is probably scowling at me from above (I just realized this song may be the reason he asked to be cremated) here are a couple more. These ones he actually taught me, and they aren't disgusting.

After The Ball

After the ball was over

(insert name here) took out her glass eye...

Put her false teeth in fresh water...

Stopped up her bottle of dye.

Stood her peg leg in the corner...

Hung her false wig on the wall.

Then all that was left went to dreamland...

After the ball.

******************

Catalinamatalinahoopenstinerwaltintimer

Catalinamatalinahoopenstinerwaltintimer

Hogenbogenlogen 

Was her name!

She had ten hairs on the top of her head

5 were alive, and 5 were dead!

Catalinamatalinahoopenstingerwaltintimer

Hogenbogenlogen

Was her name!

She had two teeth in the front of her mouth

1 pointed north and the other pointed south!

(Chorus. Please don't make me type it all again. See above).

She had two eyes on the front of her head

1 was glass and the other was lead!

(Chorus)

She had two ears on the side of her head

1 was yeller and the other was dead!

(Chorus)

She slept in the kitchen

With her feet in the hall

That's because she's nine feet tall!

(chorus)

What are your favorite kid songs and who taught them to you? Do you know these classics, or have a different version?