I have a nephew and you don't!
Well, I guess there's a chance you do actually. But I have a brand spankin' new nephew and you don't!
Well, I guess you could potentially have one as well.
But mine's cuter than yours is!
And that's not up for debate.
Yes, my rebellious sister had to go and give birth after specifically being told NOT to until I could arrive in Idaho, bag in hand, stepping off the plane to yell,
"But Miz Scarlett, I don't know nuttin' 'bout birthin' no babies!" Cuz I'm helpful like that and all. But despite all my childbirthing know-how, she went and did it all on her own.
Selfish...and rawther show-offy...
But I assured her my uterus hurt for her in sympathy even from 2013 miles away. Really, it did. I think it has PTSD and severe flashbacks. So do other parts of my anatomy, but this is a G-rated blog so I won't mention the excruciating pain of expelling a bowling ball from your own body or the mind numbing torture of the first few weeks of breastfeeding. I kinda want more kids.
I can't hardly wait to hold the little man and sniff his New Baby Scent and dress him in little polka dot bowties and style his hair in a fauxhawk and let him drool in my neck. I luf baby drool. It has magical powers and is also very moisturizing.
Hang on, Liam! Don't cry, little puffalump, Auntie is coming soon!
Laryssa, if you could take care of him for me until I arrive, that'd be great. Thanks.