Monday, July 6, 2009

I only have 20 minutes while my hair color permeates, so it may be a short one today. My hair. My lucky offspring was blessed with someone other than their mothers hair genes, although I'm sure they'll learn to hate their own soon enough (we are staring at the tween years here in short order and it makes me cringe thinking about it). I'm hoping they pass us by with little incident, those preteen sagas, which is why there's been no Hannah Montana or Highschool Musical or iCarly over here; I'm in no hurry to begin that particular brand of drama. It will come early enough on it's own with no encouragement from me or Disney. Anna was born a 12 year old anyway so maybe I'll know how to deal by the time her age catches up with her wit and intelligence, and Cora is tomboy enough that maybe she'll skip that dreaded period altogether. By the way, I have nothing against Hannah Montana, etc, they aren't terrible role models or the essence of evil or anything like that so don't be offended if that's all that's on your tv, I just don't see why anyone would want to start those melodramatic teenage years any sooner than they would have to. Why would you want to spend 10 years with a 10 year old? Not that I don't love 10 year olds, but the female ones are difficult; training bras and hair styles and short skirts and deodorant and boys and giggling and acting all grown up when they still sleep with teddy bears. Groan. I may just lock mine in the basement for a few years, sliding pizza under the door a couple times a day. When they get their brain cells back up and operating, they can come out and join humanity again.

When Cora isn't swimming or terrorizing the neighborhood on her bike she plays soccer with the local homeschoolers. I keep forgetting to take the camera, but I'll try to remember this Wednesday so check back if you want to see her in action. They crack me up, these homeschooler soccer players. The first time we went I was expecting a dad to be the coach, or maybe a mom (I'm not completely sexist just sports challenged) but what I was not expecting was the coach to be an amish (type) lady with nine children, the youngest of whom is an infant that she carries with her as she's flying across the field in her long calico skirt and head covering. She's like David Beckham with less hair product. I think she's awesome. I heart homeschoolers! They are the most eclectic group you'll ever come across. Get a number of homeschoolers together and watch the pot melt. You'll have the ones who homeschool because they got kicked out of public school, you'll have the upper class wealthy that have a new nickname 'Scuppies' (that's socially conscience yuppies), you'll have the new agey earth muffin types who are usually hiding from The Man or the government or both, you'll have the very conservative religious who homeschool for obvious reasons, and of course you'll have the stereotypical homeschoolers that we all know and ... have to love. I won't pretend they don't exist, stereotypes usually do begin somewhere. But for every unsocialized homeschooler out there who is wayyyy over educated and nerdy, I can find a few public schoolers who fit the bill as well. There is a funny article about homeschooling pet peeves on my fridge and here a couple excerpts:

1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is - and it is - it's insulting to imply that we're criminals.

2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean and use the one you really mean. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer to ask if as a homeschooler they ever get to socialize.

6. Please stop telling us horror stories about "that one homeschooler" you know. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant woman and telling them ghastly birth stories. Go away.

7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if what we're doing is adequate.

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, and weighing of options and worrying that goes into homeschooling, just to annoy you. Really. Stop taking the bare fact that we homeschool as either an affront or a judgement about your own educational decisions.

13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool" we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to amusement parks, museums, zoos, in the middle of the off season and on weekdays and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class then you're allowed to ask how we'll teach those subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for your reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teacher did.

Well, my 20 minutes are way up and I'd better go rinse before I turn out looking less like Angelina Jolie and more like Morticia Addams.


  1. ah, the joys of homeschooling! i just had a mom ask me when Aly was going to pre-school and i said that she's homeschooled. the surprised/pity look followed by 'just make sure she gets educational opportunities'. This is while we are at STORYTIME. at the LIBRARY. that i run. that the girls go to. EVERY WEEK. sigh.

  2. Amen! Preach it sistas! Homeschooling and homeing are two very different things! I should know!

  3. #6 - major pet peeve - just spent July 4th weekend with newly retired public school teacher of over 30 years who is card-carrying NEA and hates homeschool. I always get a, "I had this one homeschooler who . . . " story every time we meet. Aaagghhhh!

  4. Glad I finally got to read your infamous blogg! =) Homeschoolers rock, and that is why we are on the rise! I think the last Mothering magazine I read said homeschooling was up like 75% from for years ago, and there are like 1.4 million of us in the US now, if memory serves (OK, I am making no garantees my memory is accurate, but it was something like that!). Anyway, the point is, we will soon outnumber "them" anyway! =) Hahaha (evil laughter)

  5. THANK YOU!!!! I needed a good read and you picked my week spot after a weekend of getting drilled from strangers at a barbeque as to why in the world we would ever want to do such a thing. I just want to throw my arms in the air and yell, "What's it to you?" Ironically by the end of the evening the same people who were "drilling" me couldn't help but notice how talkative these "unsocialized children" were to the other kids as well as adults. But yet they aren't socialized!