Don't let the charming Ferris Bueller impression throw you.
Or the innocent toothless grin.
This kid has shenanigans down to a science.
An evil science.
The kind with splattered lab coats and twirly swirly mustaches.
Today? I caught him with his pet chicken, CurlyFurly II. But he wasn't lovin' up on said chickie, no, no. He was spinning her around by her tail feathers like this:
The poor chickens aren't ever going to lay. They're too stressed out. And who could blame them?
Not I, said the little red hen.
So, remember, when you see a cute little boy named Gianni coming your way, don't be fooled by his sweet smile and offer to cuddle.
Cuz sometimes I look outside and this is what I see:
My only guess is that he knows just how rotten to the core he can be, and in order to save mankind, he periodically ties himself to the garden hose, wearing nothing but his jammies and rain boots.
Whatever you do.
Don't untie him.
And pray for the livestock.