Thursday, July 26, 2012

I love throwing stuff away

My garage is calling me. It's saying,

Come get these free craigslist chairs you acquired last year and put them out on the curb.

If I obey the call, I can get to the important stuff in there - like my box of sewing supplies, the kid's off season clothing, and the contraband supply of Hagan Daaz in my freezer. 

Truer words were never spoken.

Anyway, one of the best feelings in the world (okay, yes, that's an exaggeration. There are probably better feelings: feeding orphans, saving lives, winning the lottery, a really good sneeze, eating secret ice cream, etc) is the feeling I get when I throw things away.

Not only do I love shopping at the Goodwill, but I love having a pile of stuff to give to the Goodwill. This is recycling at its finest. 

It works for toys too. Want that ridiculous, overpriced piece of junk, do you? Okay, but you'll have to give away two ridiculous, overpriced pieces of junk out of your exploding bedroom, kid. Win, win. 

Today, I threw out an empty shampoo bottle and a very nearly empty bottle of conditioner. I probably could have added some water in there, shook it around, and had enough to rinse my curly locks with, but I was feeling giddy with the thrill of throwing things out. This gave me opportunity - nay, NEED - to replace them with two shiny new bottles. Which, if you're a girl, is super exciting. Or maybe I don't get out much. Don't rain on my parade. I like products. 
As much as I like em though, I limit myself. Once upon a marriage, Mike had this in our shower:

A bottle of Suave shampoo.
A dull razor.

And I had in the same shower:

Apricot scrub.
Four half empty bottles of shampoo.
Regular conditioner.
Deep conditioner.
Leave in conditioner.
Conditioner that didn't work well, but smelled great.
Conditioner that didn't smell great, but worked well.
Two razors. (I dunno why, stop interrogating me!)
Make up remover.
Face mask.
Shave cream.
Body scrub.
Homemade oatmeal facial exfoliating scrub.
Apple cider vinegar for rinsing.
A book for baths.
Bubble bath.
Nail clippers.
Tooth brush.

Anyhoo, a few years later, and I think I've gotten better. We can now move a fraction of an inch without causing a domino effect. Now I have:

One shampoo.
One conditioner.
One body wash that I don't actually use, but someone gave me and it looks cute sitting there.
One razor.
Small bottle of olive oil for removing make up.

Speaking of showers, does anyone else do this:
You're showering, minding your own business, singing television theme songs from the eighties and nineties, and everything's fine, all's good, the kids wander in and out, the dog walks by, yada yada. Then you go to wash your face and have to close your eyes. Instant mental imagery of a ax murderer outside the shower curtain.

No? Just me? Never mind. Forget I said anything.

So, the point is, throw something away today. You'll be glad you did.

P.S. If you need a place to start, think under the sinks. Kitchen, bathroom, it doesn't matter. Odds are there are things under there you DO NOT NEED. No one needs six different kinds of cleaners or seven bottles of body lotion you didn't like anyway, or three deodorants that didn't work for you, or candles with the wicks lost inside the wax. Throw it all out! Really. You're going to feel so much better. Today, the under the sink cabinets, tomorrow the garage!


  1. I think I'll pin this one under "For the Home", since its label is "home improvement". And what could improve a home more than getting rid of junk?!?

  2. Hey! Lay off my body lotion! Forget that I haven't actually used it since high school, those 15 bottles smell great! (and besides, as long as I have 15 partially used bottles I don't feel the need to waste any money on more lotion that I will never use...)

    1. Throw it out, I say! And I will mail you the unused bottle of Cucumber Melon in my cupboard as a reward! Or wait. Is that enabling you?!