Saturday, November 24, 2012

the post I can't seem to title appropriately so we'll just call it business socks

So, I realized, while not shampoo-ing my hair this morning, that it's been a while since I've faithfully blogged about anything. This is due to watching the ticker on my Amazon page like a hawk. It may not take long to write a book, by George, but breathlessly and desperately watching for sales, stars, reviews, and comments is a FREAKIN' TIME COMMITMENT, PEOPLE. Don't underestimate it. I just have to check, says I, 23498.4 times per day, as I struggle, weak limbed, over to the smoking, quivering, much abused, laptop. It'll only take a second, says I, as I stuff pie in my mouth and re-tie the robe I put on three days ago (after shampoo-ing, I gave up on society approved clothing. At least until my patent on disposable onesies for adults comes through).

So, anyway, things have been a little busy for me, what with all that...busyness.

I almost wrote business. Which makes me think of business socks, which would go really well with disposable onesies.

Anyhoo. Not a lot going on here. Made Thanksgiving. Ate Thanksgiving. Will continue to eat Thanksgiving until the last piece of congealed stuffing is gone and I can finally wash all those plates and bowls (holy smokes, my cupboards are empty).

All I can think to say is, I'm pretty sure I have a brain tumor or something. My ears always hurt when I get up, which can only mean one of several things: they get folded over and smooshed during the night (a likely possibility), I'm grinding my teeth again (a likely possibility), or I have a brain tumor (the most likely possibility). I don't know why the tumor would hurt my ears, but I figure it probably rolls around in there like a tumbleweed and occasionally gets caught in my ear canal. I keep forgetting to google my symptoms, like any self respecting play at home doctor would do; probably because I'm busy blogging for you. Oh yeah, and watching my Amazon stats. Be right back.

K. What was I talking about?

Right. Medical symptoms. So, anyway, if you don't hear from me, I'm either 1. tending to my patent duties, 2. tending to my pie, 3. tending to my brain tumor, 4. not washing my hair or putting on acceptable clothing. KnowwhatImean? You know you do.

So, until then, my dears, enjoy your stuffing and your tumor free ears.


  1. I yhink you should have Dr. Gianni put a burning twig in your ear and see if he can smell smoke coming from the other one. Then we can get a true diagnosis and determine what treatment we want. (diabolic laughter here.)

  2. I'm headed to Amazon to write a sparkling review....just put down the pie.