Sunday, September 19, 2010

autumn daze

But, Mom, I don't need a nap!  See?  I'm wide awake!  I'm not tired! I'm - zzzzzzz...

The last of the summer garden cucumbers.

Well, the first couple weeks of school (juggling 5 public schoolers, two homeschoolers, and one Tasmanian devil who has discovered scissors) is under our belt.  We've already had our first back-to-school colds making the rounds, with Provolone down with it today.  I haven't been sick in a long while so I'm getting nervous...I might be due.  Anyone want to fill in for me if I come down with the Plague? Hello?  The days are going by incredibly fast.  Gone are the times with my hubs when we can sit down after a long day and watch something on the telly at night.  Too much homework.  I don't much care for most of this homework.  Shouldn't they be doing this in school?  I already spent several hours homeschooling, it confuses me as to why I have to spend two more each night.  It's becoming a soapbox with me.  And I'm not bashing teachers, I just didn't go to public school so all this is new to me.  If the students do all their actual "work" at home with their parents, or respective guardians, then what do they spend 8 hours a day doing in school?  But anyway.  It's a good thing I married one of those people who never forget things (except to bring home milk) because I am not good at this:

But if they need help with this, I'm their girl:

Although it's been a while and I would probably get stuck and have to be air lifted to the nearest hospital for back surgery/hip replacement.

Gianni is quite thrilled that his birthday is coming up.  I am not so thrilled.  What happened to that little pudgy ewok I gave birth to, like 10 minutes ago?  Where did he go?  Did this curly haired, dimpled toddler eat him?  There is no proof he ever existed.  I may need to curl up on the bathroom floor and weep for a while.

Carry on.

Ok (strangled sob) I'm better now.

He told me this morning that it was also MY birthday and that I could have a party and then he proceeded to sing the happy birthday song to me.  He also said I would be forty-forty.

Don't judge.  He's homeschooled.  Plus, he eats a lot of playdough.

He would like a tractor cake (surprise, surprise) and told his allergist all about it.  The doctor turned to me and said, 'He reminds me of my middle son.  The one I am always surprised is still living.'  I can only assume he said that because as he walked in the door, Gianni was airborne in the middle of a belly flop off the examining table.  He landed well and we gave him a 8.5.

The weather here is officially fall and I only have to go outside and breathe the lovely chilly air and take a walk to see all the trees turning to make my day seem calm and serene and perfect.  Ok, ok, some days it takes more than orange leaves to make everything serene, but for about a nano second there, the world stands still.  Then someone yells for me and someone else yells 'I found her' and then they drag me out from under the tree and force me to be a mother and responsible adult again.  I consider whining and stomping my feet and throwing myself prostrate on the grass, but they'll only demand more dinner and help with the iron and signatures on school papers and threats to drink all my coffee, so I finally give in and stomp back inside.  Must get better hiding places.  And bring dark chocolate.  And Cabernet Savignon.  


  1. Hey, my kids are in school and I, too, think homework is STUPID!!! I am sure they'd agree with me.

    Hmmmmm.....playdough is a good birthday gift idea.

  2. Love your post, as usual, Lyssa, I couldn't stop laughing all the way through. I am jealous of your colorful autumn. Every season feels like summer here, except for summer, which feels like 3 months in Hell.

    On the subject of homework, as a grown homeschooler, teacher, tutor, and homeschooling mom, I can tell you from experience they don't learn anything in school all day, except whatever bad influences their peers care to share with them. School actually has a reverse effect, making kids hate learning. That's why whenever you ask a kid what they learned in school today they drone out, "Nothing," followed by, "Can I watch TV now?"

    Gianni is absolutely right that his birthday is your birthday, too, since you gave birth on that day, you should be equally honored. You can always teach him how to wish you a happy 25th birthday every year on your birthday later on. ;)

    I can sympathize with needing to get away. Yes, we definitely need better hiding places. If only there was someway I could turn myself invisible while using the computer, phone, book, or anything else that temporarily diverts my attention from their every whim, that would be perfect. =)

    And, just so you know it, (since we don't ever get as much appreciation as we deserve as mothers), you are doing an awesome job! And all of them should learn to address you as Queen Melyssa. You you deserve mega kudos for even volunteering to take on a job of that magnitude, not to mention sticking it out, and juggling all that you juggle every day! =) As my friend posted on her FB page, "You don't have to be crazy to work where I work. They train you." =) So definitely remember to take a day off and go to the spa, because you so deserve it!

  3. I forget that "school" is like a foreign country to you! Now that you bring it up like that ie why all the homework, what do you do the other 8 hours, etc...I think I am a bit bitter for my schooling experiences that I thought were just "normal"

  4. Kind of agree on the homework front. It is good reinforcement of learning, but really, as adults how many of us want to come home and do an hour more of work? How many of us do? If you work efficiently at work, hopefully rarely!

    Anyway, your geometry and ballerina pictures made me laugh so hard the kids came running in to make sure that I wasn't watching dancing cats on the computer or something. You funny.

  5. mmmmmm, dancing cats....
    sounds tasty.

  6. I remember your main peeve with the first grade was that when you finished all of your "work", you "got" to color -- on color sheets. Not even nice blank pieces of paper where you could at least get a little creative, but color sheets. This was not a reward to you, who could color in the lines at about age 2; it was an insult! And then, when you had to take homework home after being bored all day, the wheels began to turn and school lost all of its charm.
    "Hmm," said our heroine Melyssa at the beginning of second grade where she learned that review was the name of the game, "Is that all there is? I think not." The rest is homeschooling history...