1. Gianni is walking around the house, moaning in sorrow, 'I need my belt!'
2. Why would you need a belt, oh fruit of my looms, when you aren't wearing any pants? Or underoos?
3. Mike has a new coffee cup. It's in the shape of Darth Vador's head. So he walks around and says in his eerily accurate James Earl Jone's voice, 'You don't know the power of the dark roast!'
4. I like canned mushrooms better than fresh. Is that so wrong?
5. I worry that it may be wrong.
6. I love Sharpies even more than canned mushrooms.
7. The other day Mike said the ceiling fan was turning in the wrong direction and so it was pushing all the hot air down. Huuuuuh???? So he reversed it. Whaaaaaaa??? I may have married the smartest man on planet earth.
8. Though I still suspect he totally made that up.
9. I am too qualified to homeschool my kids! Now hush up, this is my blog.
10. The first week of school is halfway over. Whew. I'm exhausted and I didn't even go with them. All this public school nonsense is new to me. I start to panic when my kids ask me things. I don't know when you need permission slips! I don't know if you get lunch! I don't know if you can wear a cap! Stop asking me all these questions! What do I look like, your legal guardian and professional parent??? Oh, right. Talk to James Earl Jones. He's the smartest person EVAH.
11. Teenages boys are JUST AS MOODY AS GIRLS. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'...Who am I kidding, I am REALLY sayin'. Is it bad parenting to offer them a Midol?
12. Mike is singing the National Anthem for several thousand people next week. Cool, huh?
13. Two new introductions for ya:
The Teen Queen. Age 15. Volley ball player.
Hobbes. Age 16. Lone pale teen in a house full of Africans.
14. If I could, I would color this blog with Sharpies for you and you too, would feel the warm fuzzies only a Sharpie can give you.
15. I had a super long tiring day today and my ever so awesome female offspring watched their little moose of a brother for 6 hours (don't call the cops, I was only across the street, cleaning one of our other houses).
16. When I got back Gianni wanted to show me how he 'fixes things,' which involves a plastic hammer and whatever his chubby hands can pretend to nail to his bedroom wall. So I laid down on his bed and mumbled encouraging, mothering type words while I almost fell asleep. I say almost because he started shouting, 'wake up!' and hitting me with his hammer. He's my least favorite child.
17. Until I look at him again.
18. I don't think I have the patience for chess. Three quarters of the way through I start intentionally losing just to make the game go faster.
19. When you hate napping and have eleventy seven things to do, there is nothing worse than laying down with a toddler until he finally drifts off to la-la land. I swear, I want to jump out of my skin.
20. I think I may have developed late in life ADD.
21. Mike calls his own particular case "ADOS". That stands for Attention Deficit - Oooooo Shiny....!"
22. I got the last season of Lost on dvd from the library! This is doubly exciting because it only checks out for one week. But since I'm out of district my library card for this particular library expires on the 30th. So I plan on keeping as long as it takes to get through all 16 episodes plus bonus features. Because what are they gonna do, fine me?
23. Right now my brother is saying I make a terrible Christian.
24. Hush up, Gary, this is my blog.
25. That's all, folks. I gotta go make dinner for 10 people.