Kids Say the Oddest Things

Some of these have been blogged about before, but there's nothing wrong with a little rerun!




1.  I can't believe I had to hiss the words last Sunday,  'Gianni, we do NOT shoot people in church!'


2.  A couple weeks ago the absolute funniest thing happened.  I don't know if explaining it can give it justice, but let me tell you, those who were there were wiping tears of mirth for quite a bit afterwards.  Sitting outside I casually mentioned the sun going down.  Gianni starts racing across the field as fast as his short little legs will carry him, hollering, 'NOOOOOOOOOOO!'  Abruptly, he stops, drops his head in the most dejected fashion you can possibly imagine, and begins to trudge back to us.  With tears in his eyes, he reaches my side, and whispers, 'I couldn't stop it, Mom....I just couldn't stop it.'


3.  When Anna was about three she went walking with Daddy.  'Man,' he said, 'Isn't it a beautiful day?  Smell that fresh air!'  She obediently sniffed, wrinkled her nose, and replied,  'Smells like my boogers.'


4.  While waiting at a stoplight when the girls were around the ages of 3 and 4, a group of goth teens in black trenchcoats walked by.  They were all in black and their long coats were whipping in the wind.  'Heros!' shouts Cora,  'Mommy, look at the heros!!'


5.  While grocery shopping one day Cora marched up to a very tatted up individual.  'When I do that,'  she informed him,  'My mommy takes away my markers.'


6.  After watching the kid's classic movie, E.T., Anna at the age of seven said she hated it.  Too sad?  Nope.  But when things die 'they really REALLY need to stay dead.  Who shows movies to kids of things coming back to life? That's just really creepy, Mom.'


7.  Mike used to tell the girls he was going to drop the hammer, in a teasing way of course.  Until one day while being pushed in a shopping cart, Cora yelled at the top of her lungs, 'No Daddy, NO!  Don't hit us with the hammer again!'


8.  One night Cora and Anna really wanted to sleep with Mommy.  They begged, they cajoled, they weaseled.  Finally, Mommy appealed to their sympathys.  'You two have each other,'  Mommy said,  'If you are both in bed with me, then Daddy will be alone and will be so sad!'  'No, he won't' they answered smugly, 'God is with him.'


9.  Cora informed Anna quite rudely one day that it was unlikely she could ever grow up to be a princess.  'Fine,'  Anna shot back,  'Then I'll go with my other choice and grow up to be a monkey!'


10.  Cora won't sit through a romantic movie, no matter how kid friendly.  After watching most, but not all, of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, I tried to tell her she should stay for the ending because maybe it wouldn't be what she expected.  'Yeah, Mom, I'm pretty sure I can figure it out without actually having to sit through it,' she replied.


11.   Watching movies in a group home with nine kids, most of whom are from the inner city, can be an adventure.  While watching LadyHawke, in a particularly quiet moment, one of the teens suddenly shouted, 'Look out, LadyHawke, you're about to get shivved!'


12.  Anna is quite possibly, the world's most stubborn person.  While being forced to try one tiny bite of spinach one night, she sat at that table for hours.  Finally, after the holidays had come and gone and my hair had turned white with age and I had several new grandchildren, she ate one nibble.  'Hey, Mom!'  she yelled across the room,  'Good news!  This isn't NEARLY as disgusting as it looks!'


13.  When Gramma told Anna to say the magic words 'pretty please with sugar on top,' Anna oblidged.  When given what she had asked for, Anna yelled, 'Hey!!!  Where's the sugar?'


14.  An overheard conversation between a six year old Cora and a four year old Anna: 
Cora:  You know God gave everyone different gifts, don't you?
Anna:  Yep.
Cora:  I don't know what mine is though.
Anna:  Mine is biting my toenails.
Cora:  Yeah!  That's such a great gift...(sighs)  I wish that was my gift from God, but it's only yours cuz you're special...


Isn't she though?!