Sunday, November 6, 2011
Family Bonding is Distressing
They're so cute...
...like baby piranhas...
They're so dang lovable.
How can I possibly want to hide from them in the bathroom and eat pasta until I melt into a puddle of Melyssa and Gorgonzola?
That one at the top? He is a puppy in striped pajamas. He is wearing a leash. He is eating cereal out of a bowl on the floor. He just told me he's "Mindy from the network." (Bolt). He has all fifty states memorized. This is not due to my spectacular parenting as I had to stop and think if there were indeed, fifty states.
The one in the middle photo keeps getting disqualified from her heats at swim meets. She is rebellious and won't follow the rules. I blame her dad. She wouldn't sit still and listen to our family reading of The Hobbit. She made dinner so we forgive her lack of family spirit.
The last one up there gives me anxiety attacks for the teenage years to come. Her future husband must enjoy being the steak to her mushrooms, for he will be smothered until he surrenders. She insisted on unbuttered popcorn...yet will not learn to pop it...so she sits, dejected...like a wounded small elf...on the corner of the couch while we read The Hobbit...until she melts down the side of the couch like so much unwanted butter...and she pouts some more on the floor.
Excerpts of The Hobbit were peppered with the neurotic dog pacing...back and forth...back and forth...doggy toenails on a hardwood floor under vaulted ceilings...Mommy interrupting to say things like
Move that glass, it's going to get spilled.
Don't sit on the couch like that, it's not good for it.
Get your face out of the popcorn bowl. Yes, I know you're a puppy but you can't put your face in the popcorn bowl.
I know he put his face in, I'm sitting right here!
Be careful of Daddy's stomach, he just had surgery.
Starving kids in China would LOVE to have Daddy read to them!!
The dishes are piling up...the laundry is too...we lost the car keys for Mike's car...I will have to drive him to work at zero-dark-thirty...bedtime can't come soon enough...
I am blessed.