Sunday, November 6, 2011

Family Bonding is Distressing




They're so cute...





...like baby piranhas...





They're so dang lovable.

How can I possibly want to hide from them in the bathroom and eat pasta until I melt into a puddle of Melyssa and Gorgonzola?

That one at the top?  He is a puppy in striped pajamas.  He is wearing a leash.  He is eating cereal out of a bowl on the floor.  He just told me he's "Mindy from the network."  (Bolt).  He has all fifty states memorized.  This is not due to my spectacular parenting as I had to stop and think if there were indeed, fifty states.

The one in the middle photo keeps getting disqualified from her heats at swim meets.  She is rebellious and won't follow the rules.  I blame her dad.  She wouldn't sit still and listen to our family reading of The Hobbit.  She made dinner so we forgive her lack of family spirit.

The last one up there gives me anxiety attacks for the teenage years to come.  Her future husband must enjoy  being the steak to her mushrooms, for he will be smothered until he surrenders.  She insisted on unbuttered popcorn...yet will not learn to pop it...so she sits, dejected...like a wounded small elf...on the corner of the couch while we read The Hobbit...until she melts down the side of the couch like so much unwanted butter...and she pouts some more on the floor.

Excerpts of The Hobbit were peppered with the neurotic dog pacing...back and forth...back and forth...doggy toenails on a hardwood floor under vaulted ceilings...Mommy interrupting to say things like

Move that glass, it's going to get spilled.


Don't sit on the couch like that, it's not good for it.


Get your face out of the popcorn bowl.  Yes, I know you're a puppy but you can't put your face in the popcorn bowl.


I know he put his face in, I'm sitting right here!


Be careful of Daddy's stomach, he just had surgery.


Let go.


Be nice.


Shh.


Starving kids in China would LOVE to have Daddy read to them!!


The dishes are piling up...the laundry is too...we lost the car keys for Mike's car...I will have to drive him to work at zero-dark-thirty...bedtime can't come soon enough...

I am blessed.

7 comments:

  1. Love this!!! My own little puppy doesn't think that puppies should have bedtimes. And at the very least should be able to sleep in the dog bed at the foot of mommy and daddy's bed. Which of course would require the removal of our actual dog, who is pretty sure that that bed belongs to him... sigh. To be three again!

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  2. Snort... you lost me at Baby Piranhas!

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  3. my twerps r sleeping on the floor with the dog and look so darned comfy i may join them. and then i remember that im not 4yrs old and that the floor is hard......

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  4. those are beautiful pictures, I love how the orange pumpkin POPS!

    I just saw your blog at the Homeschool Blog Awards and decided to come check you out. I am your newest follower and would love for you to follow me back, if you want to =-)
    Beth

    www.livinglifeintentionally.blogspot.com

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  5. ...so the Hobbit may not have been as magical for them as it was for me....but I guess that was before electricity and motor cars. oh well the movie comes out next year! BTW who is your photographer? Those pics are fantastic!

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  6. this moved me greatly. i love the honesty of your writing, and your willingness to be real. i'm so glad you stopped by my place so i could find yours! blessings, e.

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  7. Gen, anna is into The Hobbit now - C and G not so much. Anna always was your girl!

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