Friday, December 9, 2011

attendant has been notified to commit me

Attendant has been notified to assist you...

... but I don't need any assistance.  I just need to pay for my milk and scan my swiss chard.

Please remove the last item from the bagging station..., I didn't put anything in the bagging station yet.  Are you talking about that gnat that flew by?

Attendant has been notified to assist you...

...I don't need assistance!  Ok, fine.  Whatever.  Where is said attendant?  Hello?

Item not found.

You can't find bananas?  They're a pretty common item.  


Umm, looks like nine. 9.  Noooo!  Wait, not nine bunches of bananas - nine total bananas!  Nine bananas!  I'm not running a school for monkeys!

Please remove the last item from the bagging area.

Ok, ok, it's all gone!  I put everything back in my cart!  Stop yelling at me!

Please put the last item back in the bagging area.


Why do I do this to myself every time? I like customer service just fine.  I'm not avoiding the friendly checkers.  Why do I think I can do their job faster?  I can't.  They're better.  I can admit it.  They can scan, I can tour jete, they can tally, I can pirouette.  They don't come to the ballet studio and expect to teach their bunheads themselves.  That would be silly.  

And trying to feed crumpled one dollar bills (earnings from your yard sale) into the machine is almost as embarrassing as - well, insert your most embarrassing scenarios here.  Especially if you mention to the skeptical checker-who's-not-a-checker-but-is-just-a-bored-employee-who-carries-a-magic-box-that-can-erase-your-mistakes, that you're a dancer.      


  1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I have totally been there, but I still use them, because there isn't usually a line (I wonder why that is...)

  2. I can't stand those and avoid them ALWAYS... Will stand in a line over the empty self check out line.
    guess that's one job we don't actually have to worry about the machines stealing!

  3. Yeah, I'm your 100th follower. Congrats for reaching the double zero number. I'm gonna borrow this idea and try it out with my kids.
    Thanks for linking up to Get Connected Tuesday Blog Hop.