1. Finish laundry.
2. That was meant to be funny. Is the laundry EVER finished?
3. School children. They've got to be around here someplace.
4. Buy groceries. Stretch a buck and I do mean streeeeeeeeeeetch.
5. Pack for weekend get-away.
6. Leave no forwarding address.
7. Accidentally lose cell phone.
8. Clean out van.
9. Google search how many pounds a small child must be before you can move up to using the lap/shoulder belt and get rid of the five point harness. It's coat season, people, trying to buckle Gianni in is like stuffing a turkey.
10. Mmmmm, turkey.
11. Wash sheets in cottage.
12. Stock cottage with Cheezits and books.
13. Make lunch.
14. Go to mom's group.
16. Clean bathroom.
17. Write change-over notes for our splendid relief house parents who are taking over tomorrow.
18. Buy dog food.
19. Refrain from beating about the neck and shoulders of the teenage trolls who can't seem to remember to quite PUT THEIR BREAKFAST DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER BUT LEAVE THEM ON THE COUNTER FOR ME TO SCRAPE THE NASTY BURNT ON EGG AND CRUNCHY OATMEAL OFF WHEN I GET A CHANCE TO GET TO IT AFTER ALL MY SOAP OPERA WATCHING AND BON BON EATING.
20. Fill their stockings with coal.
21. Rob Piggly-Wiggly for cash with which to buy my lover boy a Happy Anniversary gift.
22. Explain to Moose that nice boys wear underpants at all times.
23. Take Cora swimming.
24. Take Teen Queen and Provolone to basketball.
25. Pry remaining teen eyeballs away from too much Facebook.
26. Make dinner.
27. Help with homework. Hope desperately that I am smarter than a fifth grader.
28. Put out fires.
29. Avoid catastrophes and chaos.
30. Pick up athletes.
31. Supervise chores.
32. Stuff whoever forgot their laundry THIS time in the washer/dryer's laundry under their sheets and cackle with mirth.
33. Get disappointed when they don't notice and just sleep with it.
34. Bathe a Moose.
35. Explain once again as I do nightly, that 11 year old boys are very, very close to Stinky Mandom, and therefore must shower every single night from here until eternity. At eternity, he may take the matter up with the Lord.
36. Pack small cooler with coconut milk and coffee creamer. In case we get stranded on a desert island.
37. DVR Castle.
38. Pull down winter bedspread from tippy top of closet.
39. Pack car.
40. Write logs for each child.
41. Go to bed.
42. Put pillows over my head every time the motion detectors go off. Unless my boss is reading this, and then I meant to say, pay strict attention to every time the motion detectors go off.
43. Wake up.
44. Start four days OFF.