Sunday, July 24, 2011

Village Raised Children Part 2

Evidently I offended some with the post regarding children's church classes/youth groups.  I feel a need to defend myself, explain myself, and also point out that this is a blog.  It's not the inspired word of God, it's not a how-to manual for raising children, and it is not ever something I write in order to encourage debates and arguments and accusations.


Let me clarify some points I made in the first article.  Everything I wrote was about ME.  YOU - whomever you are - were never mentioned.  Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, was entirely coincidental.  I am sorry if anyone felt judged.  You are free to raise your child any which way you like, and that was actually the point of the post;  please don't frown on me if I choose to have my children sit with me, and I certainly will do the same for you.  I simply found that movie quite well documented, well researched, and thought provoking.  I was only sharing that with you in case you were interested.  If you never rent the movie, roll your eyes at me, and adore you youth group services, that's wonderful.  


I love, adore, and covet your comments and emails concerning the blog.  However, I avoid conflict like the plague.  If you strongly disagree with something, that's peachy keen.  Please do me the service of saying so nicely and move on!  I don't enjoy debates and forums for people to air their opinions. Some people like that very much - I am not one of those people.


I realize that in itself sounds dumb, but I have been through an emotional wringer the likes of which no one can understand, this year.  This blog is a way to organize my thoughts, share things I've been thinking about and going through, and just stay in touch.  There's nothing more to it.


I consider myself a very non-judgmental person.  I have friends of all creeds, colors, religions, schooling opinions, etc.  I may have my soap boxes and occasionally I like to share them.  It's my blog.  I can do that.  But I don't have the energy or emotional well being to be accused of anything right now, OK?  Whether your children go off to junior church or not, that's up to you as the parent.  That was and continues to be, my whole point.

13 comments:

  1. seriously??? well at least you didn't have a job to lose over it! you are so controversial! Maybe you are more suited for the entertainment industry, but be cautious of TMZ...
    I joke...

    I thought you did a LOVELY job on your part 1...

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  2. I really loved your last post. I run in to similar problems when I talk about unschooling. People get offended, but I am just talking about ideas and what works for me and my family. I'm certainly not trying to tell anyone how they should be! I am thankful that you aren't judgmental and that you are who you are. A lovely, lovely person with an fantastic family.

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  3. Last time I checked we still live in America and there was something about free speech?? . . .I love hearing your opinion whether or not it is in line with my choices. I do not want you to stop writing this and you should feel free to be as open as you want! Besides, someone commented and wasn't brave enough to tell you who they were? Shame on them!! Go back to kindergarten - if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

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  4. You tell'em girl! It's your blog and you can write what you want to! I didn't see anything offensive in your last post, and have seen the movie and heard several pastors speak very similar sermons.

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  5. Oh shoot! I just took my kids out of church cuz of your last post and now I have to put em back in?! Will you please just tell me what we believe and quit changing our minds. :) Blogonwonderwritingmamaballerinawomanofhotness!

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  6. Tawni, that totally made me snort with laughter, and I really REALLY needed that right now! I love you, girl. And not just cuz you occasionally agree with my quirkiness.

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  7. You poor thing...you have been burned enough for several lifetimes!

    We need a group hug, and to take up a collection for a big ole can o whoop hiney for poor Melyssa.

    Or maybe a flame thrower. Just cause I like the imagery...

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  8. How could anyone possibly have been offended by your blog when it's exactly what your mommy has been saying for years. What?! They want to take on your mommy?!? Bring it on, O Anonymous Wonder! Free Speech Lives! PS I'm only anonymous because google hates me...

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  9. Hello, anyone stupid enough to get all flip about someone else's blog, please get your own followers and your own blog. Let us enjoy our friend Melyssa and her posts. If we disagree, we are FRIENDS and we do so as friends. If people cannot do that, I kindly suggest that they please find themselves some wine, or a hobby, or a new blog. Dear Melyssa - please don't apologize for one more thing. Go find your tutu and teach your little dance babies, hug your kids, and keep writing.

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  10. I watched Divided... and pretty much agree with it entirely. I also am a Children's Church teacher. I began teaching children years ago. It is only recently that age segregation has become an area where God has opened my eyes. When my husband and I looked for a church for our family years ago, we were new Christians. We wanted one that offered lots of "programs" for the entire family. I never considered another way until after homeschooling for awhile. I began teaching as a way to serve. I have taught children in church for a long time. Most... not all... but most of the parents I have dealt with don't do anything to disciple their children at home. They expect the children's teachers or youth leaders to do the job (then blame them instead of themselves when the child falls away later). This includes both non-church going families that drop off their children for services and leave, and the families that have been in the church for 30 years. In fact, there have been lots of complaints about the children even being in the service for worship.
    This is a large area of prayer for me right now. I think it is wrong to segregate children, but I also want to reach those children whose parents aren't Christians, but allow them to come to a "program". I hope I am planting seeds. As hypocritical as it may sound, I am not so sure I want my own children in these programs. We've pulled them from Sunday School and my husband and I teach the Children's church. There have been numerous problems with our teens in the youth group... and it is family that runs the program. It is all these "issues" that got me thinking that, "This isn't working". I encourage you to keep writing as God leads. For those like me, that are searching and praying, it helps to see that God is leading others the same way.

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  11. I have always had my kids with me in church & wanted it that way. Until we started going to a much bigger church & the kids WANTED to go to all the cool kids' programs. Since my kids are homeschooled & never get out of the house, I gave in finally. I think that works for us now. But I understood everything you said in your post & wasn't offended by anything just cuz we do things a little differently now. If I truly had my way, ALLL my kids would sit with me through Sunday service, every Sunday. I'm resigned to things, but not super happy about it. I was always a mama who NEVER left her babies in the nursery & didn't MAKE anyone go to Sunday school until they were 5 or 6. And I caught some flack for that too, girl......from teachers, judgemental parents & even my hubby! :P But, in the words of Skillet, "I do what I want........cuz this is MY LIFE!!!!!!!!" :) No one should have been offended by your last post. SILLY. I'm sorry, dear! Keep writing! Love you!

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  12. And if Skillet said it, gosh darn it all, it must be true!!!

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  13. I have memories from our church shopping after leaving our "old church" and knowing I had to send the girls to Sunday school. We stopped going to a church I really loved because Sydney would cry every time and seemed really afraid of the care givers. At each new church we tried I would feel so guilty leaving them in the classroom crying and me always saying, "It's okay honey, they will teach you about God." But really, I didn't even know these people and would they really teach my kids? Probably, but I still felt so guilty leaving them to cry in a room full of kids and people they didn't know. I guess what I am saying is that I agree with you that it is a parent's job to teach their children and a choice as to whether or not they go to have some additional learning in Sunday School. Great Post Lyssa!

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