Monday, October 24, 2011

Pumpkins, tangerines, and other fruits

A freshly, brand spankin' new, four year old.

Punkin' patchin' with my punkins.

I would have enjoyed said punkin' patchin' more had my hair not been in the midst of a dying disaster.  My poor follicles have really taken a beating this week and I'm so overloaded with chemicals now that I'm surprised I have enough brain cells left to blog.  They have seeped through my very scalp, leaving me incapable of remembering my address, my middle name, and lines from The Princess Bride, all things I used to be able to bring to the forefront of my mind at a moment's notice.

Anybody want a peanut?

So, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson but I will most likely repeat my DIY hair color in a mere couple of months from now, seeing as how my hair is a peculiar shade of rusty...orangey...browny...but I love this peculiar shade seeing as how it is not black.  Black is what happened when I went to Sally and requested medium brown.

I like black.

It's slimming.

Goes with everything.

It's easy to accessorize.

It's timeless.

But not on my head.

People will argue with me and tell me I already have black hair. No, no, no.  When I truly DO have black hair you would see the difference.  When I have black hair, I look like Elvira.

When I try to remove the Elvira-ness, I end up with tangerine.

Which causes my husband, in an attempt to be sweet - either that or in an attempt to cover up his hysterical laughter at his wife's pumpkin head - tells me that Milla Jovovich in The Fifth Element is quite attractive.

Too bad Milla is eight feet tall, has an accent, and looks fabulous wrapped in mummy wrappings.  Other than that, yeah, I can see the resemblance.

In the middle - right smack in the middle! - of my hair disaster was our pumpkin patch field trip with our new group of homeschoolers.  A new group I'm trying to impress with my whole life in the attempts to make a friend.  When I'm not frightening them with my Morticia hairdo, I'm emotionally vomiting on them about how I got myself terminated from a childcare position.  I think I may have to find a new group.

Anyway.  Don't come to me for hair color advice.  I'm learning to love my chocolate covered tangerine locks and also beans and rice, which is all we'll be eating for the next month due to my $7.99 Sally Beauty Supply purchase becoming a $40 spree.  Sometimes being frugal stinks.  

In other news, I have a four year old.  Help.  Actually if you ask him, he'll say he's almost six.  Whatever, Grover.  Time to put him in a pickle jar.


  1. I tried going blonde once. It was more of an orange colour. I should have guessed it wouldn't work as my grandfather was a carrot top.

    My roots are very dark so as it grew out as I was the opposite of top deck chocolate with blonde/red bottom and dark top. Yuk!!

    So I sure do understand your colouring woes.

    I hope it/you recovers.

    Best wishes
    Jen in Oz

  2. Black does not go with everything.
    Navy blue, brown and summer just to name a few. But I am sure you would have sported it beautifully. Keep up the orange look til I get there. I want to fix hair color woes together. My hair is currently a black with faded spots of brown and blondish brownish grayish roots coming in. I will bring my variety of hair colors from Sally's. We will have fun and NOT invite your sister who remembers things all wrong.

  3. Black hair is tough to pull off, as I am sure tangerine is. I am also sure though, that you are doing tangerine nicely! We are most critical on ourselves and you can look at your homeschool group relocation as an exciting adventure. (like something Jason Bourne would have... and hair dying happens then too.)

  4. Speaking on behalf of your new homeschool group: We love you! Please stay!!! :)

  5. still want to see before, after, and after pictures . . . come on. pleeeaaasee!!! ;oP

  6. Funny, my hair used to be more medium brown with (artificial) blond high lights, but as I've gotten older, it's gotten to be quite dark with (unfortunately natural) silver high lights. So I tried dying it black once, just because I thought, it's not much different than dark brown. That is SO not true, it was freakishly different!!! My husband liked to jokingly call me his new girlfriend! I guess it looked good on me, but I have not quite been brave enough to go for the full-on black look since, just because it was SUCH a big change. I've done reddish, and that was fine, but still not as dramatic as black. I've always been tempted to try that plum color, but I don't think it would look good on me, with my olive-pink coloring. Same with blond. But the black DID cover the gray rather well, and it lasted FOR-EV-A. And it was rather cute and Betty Page-like. But when I'm an old lady, and all gray, I have decided I am going to dye my hair all of the bright colors I never did when I was a teen because it wasn't blond. Like turquoise, pink, purple, rainbow, and ty-dye. ;)I do hate what dying does to my hair, though. So far I like the Clariol Natural Instincts colors about the best, just because they come with that awesome conditioner you can use afterwards. I hope your hair trouble improves. Maybe try some coconut oil to moisturize it? It's really nice for your hair. Wishing you a good hair day soon! :)