Today

You ever have one of those days?
One of those days where:

the coffee tastes especially yummy

the kids get 100% on their math test

you wash the sheets and they smell like Snuggle Blue Sparkle

you sweep and mop the floor

meals are delish and appreciated by everyone

the history lesson with the kids is fun and educational both

work goes well

the bills get paid

an unexpected check arrives in the mail

there's a new stack of library books waiting

the whippersnappers don't argue, not even once


Well?  Isn't that a lovely description of a lovely day?

This was not that day.

Instead:

I've given myself radiation poisoning from the number of times I've nuked my same cup of coffee

I waited too long to eat breakfast and was riding on a broom by noon

I kept dreaming all night of certain people in Michigan I don't ever want to see again, much less dream of

the kids woke up squabbling with each other

then they repented and got all nice which only makes me feel guilty for being short tempered with them.  I read this interview with I can't remember his name, but he played Sam on Lord of the Rings, and his mom in real life is an actress, I can't remember her name either but she's famous, and he talked about her being manic depressive and when she was nice, she was nice, but they lived in fear of her not being nice and it totally colored his whole entire childhood and adulthood, and I was like, wow, like I didn't have enough pressure to not ruin my kids, now I have to totally watch my mood swings

we went to Walmart which is really a heinous place to go even if your day is going well, and mine was not, not so much, and I saw this mom yelling at her kids who were really not being all that naughty all things considered (although maybe they really were spawns of Lucifer at home before they got to Walmart, who knows) and it was like looking in a mirror except I'm not that mean and I don't smell like cigarettes but still

and my $1 Elf eyeliner didn't transform me into Katie Holmes or Salma Hayek like I thought it might, me being the hopeless optimist that I am

and I have to call and argue with some medical bill people who are trying to send us to collections over a bill that insurance should have paid almost a year ago and I really don't want to because arguing with medical bill people is slightly more fun than say, poking yourself in the eye with a flame thrower, but it has to be done

and my hair is being especially obnoxious and if I had the guts I'd go all Sinead O'Conner but I don't have the voice



THIS has been our day.